Gym Selfies

We’re here, we’re queer, we work out! We get it!

Even Adam Lambert has fallen prey to this most basic of selfies.

Any Excuse to Take Off Our Shirts

It might be the one thing bros and gay guys have in common.

Top 40 music

Every gay has his favorite pop earworms. But the most basic of gays listen to them exclusively —

and have been known to accost DJs demanding “something we know.”

Boyfriend Twins

One might be cute, but two is too cute. #twincest

Making A Big Deal Out Of Being Into Sports

Don’t get me wrong: Jocks are hot. And there’s nothing wrong with being a sports fan either—

you just don’t have to remind us all the time.

Designer Underwear

Sexy or silly? Either way, it’s only gonna end up on the floor anyway (if you’re lucky).

Marriage Equality As Marketing Ploy

Tiffany & Co. ad featuring a gay couple, via Elle

It’s a great sign for marriage equality that more and more progressive brands are depicting gay relationships in their ads. In our enthusiasm, however, it’s easy to forget the difference between a salesman and a supporter.

Over-Plucked Eyebrows

If you give a gay some tweezers…he might just get carried away! Repeat after me:

Vulcan brows not on fleek.

Arguing Over Which Friend Is The Samantha Of The Group

Sex and the City went off the air, like, 30 years ago, and we’re still playing this game.

(When straight women play, they all want to be Carrie. BO-ring!)

Little Dogs

Gays love little dogs like dogs love sniffing crotches.

(As a rule, the yappier and fluffier the dog, the more basic the owner.)

Getting Hung Up On Straight Boys

If we know better, why can’t we do better?

Gay Tunnel Vision

A love of LGBT culture and a healthy dose of Pride are great, but making sure every single aspect of your life is G-A-Y is rilly basic. You don’t need a gay dentist.